The week ahead – September 12, 2022

Okay, I was unexpectedly out for a couple of weeks and I got a little behind. Whew. Back now.

What I am reading

All of the things I was reading before are still on the list. But actively, I am doing some re-reading:

Mutual Aid. I was re-reading the part of chapter 5 that is about making decisions together, but then a colleague told me they were re-reading the burnout section of this same chapter and now I am reading this too.

What I am thinking about

History. I needed to look in the Library Records collection in the archives for something and that trip back to the past has me thinking of all kinds of things about where we are now.

The OSTP memo. What it says, what it means, and what it means for OSU and OSULP. I am going to be talking to the Research Office about this in a couple of weeks and hopefully to the deans soon thereafter.

Elsevier negotiations. More on this to come.

What I am preparing for/ meetings of note

Initial budget allocations. We get an initial allocation from the university every year, of course, but then we need to figure out how to divide it between our indexes. That’s due this week.

Library faculty brown bag. The researcher services coordinator and I are going to be talking about a brown bag/ discussion for the library faculty on this issue. The interim associate dean, who is also the head of collections and resource sharing, is also going to be facilitating a conversation about transformative agreements and journal negotiations. I suspect all of these conversations are going to need to converge.

Development/ External relations work. This fits into the “stuff that has to be done that is really easy to push aside bucket” but my colleague Megan and I have solved that by taking on some big projects with possibly unrealistic deadlines.

The week ahead – August 15, 2022

What I’m reading

So, last week wasn’t much of a reading week. I got about another 10% of the way through Misconceiving Merit, but that is about it.

What I am thinking about

The Qualitative Research mess. I don’t even know how to describe it. If you want to know my thoughts, see this thread and this one too — I don’t really have anything to add.

What I am preparing for

Elsevier negotiations. We spent much of last year building consensus with our faculty and administration around a set of negotiating principles. This negotiation with Elsevier (which we do in partnership with colleagues at UO and Portland State) is the first one since those principles were endorsed by the faculty senate. We have made a number of requests based on these principles during this negotiation, but this meeting on Wednesday should be complicated. We have asked that it focus entirely on this one:

OSULP will pay a fair and sustainable price to publishers for value-added services, based on transparent and cost-based pricing models.

Vet Med planning. As I said last week, the library at the College of Vet Med is administratively and financially separate from OSULP. In the last two years, this library has been entirely de-staffed and that’s obviously creating some issues for us in the central library. I am really not sure what the path forward is to resolve those issues, but this meeting will hopefully be the first step towards finding that path.

Cascades library MOA. We had a similar situation with the library at the OSU-Cascades campus in Bend, but we have figured out our path. Because of some tangled up financial structures (yay Oregon!) we still have some logistics to hammer out. They’ve been hammered out between the campuses, but on Thursday I am meeting with our financial unit partners to make sure that everything is workable.

Meetings of note

Hamersly Library dean. I’m heading up to Monmouth later today to meet with the Dean of the Library at Western Oregon University. She stepped into her role just before the pandemic and we haven’t had a chance to sit down yet and talk.

Open and Sustainable Scholarly Communication. This is the group that worked on getting our negotiating principles articulated and adopted by our campus. It was never intended to be a forever group (and the faculty advisory group that was a part of that effort has already disbanded) but the need to continue advocacy in this area is still very pressing. So we’re going to meet to figure out how to keep these conversations and that advocacy moving forward.

The week behind – August 12, 2022

So this was one of those weeks where I got a lot done and finished nothing. There should be a word for those, they happen often enough. Is there a word for those? I bet there is in German. Anyway, forward progress yes, dopamine hit from crossing things off the to-do list, not so much.

The Associate Dean PD is very, very close. I think it will be ready to send to a couple of readers on Monday. I wouldn’t send something like that out on a Friday afternoon anyway, so I am calling that a win. Strategic planning — I am close to a plan in my head. But I still need to translate that to something out of my head and that is not as far along as I would like. I am going to be visiting all of the library departments to talk about it, but that can’t happen until September because of vacations and already-finished agendas for August, so I have a little more processing time I can do. The good news is that I think there is going to be a solid dovetail between the strategic planning work and the external relations work and that makes me happy for a few reasons, most of them efficiency-related.

A few things came up during the week, but they weren’t as weighty as last week’s capital planning conversations and they didn’t weigh me down as much. The university pushed out information about a new flexible work arrangement policy to supervisors (to go to the whole campus next week) and I had to review that. We are largely out in front of the policy, so reviewing primarily meant making sure we hadn’t veered in a wildly different direction on any of our specifics. We haven’t. There are a number of places where we are at the upper end of flexible, but we’re not doing anything specifically precluded by the new policy.

And finally, I still haven’t settled on the next book to read.

The week ahead — August 8, 2022

What I’m reading

Misconceiving Merit (Blair-Loy & Cech) –> still 20% done. I left it at home and didn’t read it there.

The Promise of Access (Greene) –> 10% done

The End of Ownership (Perzanowski and Schultz) –> this is a reread, focused on refreshing the legal principles in the first few chapters. Highly recommend this book, btw.

I need to start something new to replace Beyond Accommodation, but I am not sure what yet. I usually move on to a similarly focused book, but I am feeling a desire to read some history. I know I could do both, but we’re edging up on not-really-reading-anything-well territory with five work-related books going at the same time.

What I’m thinking about

What I am preparing for

Strategic planning. Our strategic plan ends in 2023, so we really should be on developing a new one. Talking to the library about it, I am getting a lot of understandable exhaustion. From this I know that we are not interested in a full-on, consultant led process (the last one took 18 months). But at the same time, I get enough questions about the plan – current and future — that I know I have to figure something out. I think I have the outlines of a strategy in mind, but I am going to need to have some conversations. How to get that done is the problem I am working now.

Associate Dean hire. We have had an interim Associate Dean for over a year — and that’s too long. Getting this PD done and the search ready to launch is a priority.

Meetings of note

Records Manager search committee. Of note, this is the first new position my library has been funded for since like 2008, and only the second in my 18 years here. Needless to say, we are pretty excited. I worked hard on the proposal for this position and I did it collaboratively with colleagues from the general counsel’s office, the compliance office, the research office, and university relations and marketing. I’m super excited that some of those people also agreed to join the search committee. I’m not the hiring manager for this search, so I don’t technically have to be there, but I’m going to anyway.

LOTS of 1:1s. When I was trying to figure out how to reorganize the library administration department post-COVID and post-me-as-Dean I talked to lots of people and one thing I found out was that our culture here where supervisors and direct reports meet 1:1 weekly or (more commonly) biweekly is both 1) not as common as I thought and 2) very appreciated.

Admin briefing. This is a 1/2 hour to 1 hour meeting once a month that could definitely be an email. BUT, one thing I have learned in my time in big organizations is that you can’t ever find the perfect communication channel. You have to communicate things multiple ways using multiple platforms (and sometimes also multiple times). So this is a briefing on stuff different people in Admin are working on, hearing about, needing help with, etc.

College of Vet Med library prep. This is a really hard problem that all of us who are currently working on it — from university admin, the library and the college — inherited. TL;DR — this is a library that’s independently staffed, managed and funded and which is struggling. All of us from that list above are meeting next week to talk about the future, so this week I’m meeting with the librarian who has been the liaison for this situation to get our thoughts in order.

Donor/stewardship strategy. When we reorganized admin, part of the goal was for me, my executive assistant and the building and space manager to have more capacity with external and donor relations. This is one of several meetings figuring out what that looks like and how it fits with the other work already happening in admin.

The week behind — August 5, 2022

All of the meetings I listed on my week ahead post were productive and useful and that’s usually a recipe for a good attitude going into the weekend, but this time I still ended the week feeling stuck and disheartened. A meeting that wasn’t on my calendar when I wrote that post was our annual capital planning meeting to discuss space issues and needs — not the internal to the library stuff that we manage, but the big-picture and big-ticket pieces that we rely on the university to support. And the capital planners and facilities managers and project managers are dealing with major, huge issues out of their control — inflation and supply lines — and you can just see it in their faces. It’s a lot.

I am a root causes, fix it the right way kind of person and that is always going to be a challenge as a middle manager in a big organization — stuff’s out of our control, that’s just real. But when the world is this broken, I need to be able to think on a level that is not root causes — because if I can’t that’s a recipe for anxiety and burnout and the kind of deep existential dread that we’re experiencing enough in our non-work lives — but thinking at non-root causes can also feel kind of pointless. This is a tough thing to navigate.

a book cover with a brown scribble drawing on a white background. The title of the book is Beyond Accommodation Creating an Inclusive Workplace for Disabled Library Workers and the authors are Jessica Schomberg and Wendy Highby

Anyway, that’s why I want to shout out that I finished Beyond Accommodation: Creating an Inclusive Workplace for Disabled Library Workers by Jessica Schomberg and Wendy Highby. I mean, I am always pretty proud when I manage to finish a book, but what I really want to shout out is the book itself.

A lot of times when I read things that are about building an inclusive workplace, no matter what the focus of that inclusion is, I come away with one of two things — a really good understanding of the structural issues creating the marginalization, exclusion or oppression and why I should want my workplace to be inclusive, or a handful of concrete strategies that I can take or an individual library worker can take, with no real connection back to root causes. As a big-picture, root causes, type of person I gravitate towards reading the first type of book, which means that I often end up with an unfocused desire to do more and an ongoing feeling of not enough.

This book navigated that tension really beautifully. The authors discuss and theorize and analyze root causes and structural issues (and what needs to be done about them) while also using local, organizational and individual lenses to address the same issues. It was a breath of fresh air in a frustrating week and I highly, highly recommend it.

The week ahead – August 1, 2022

What I’m reading:

Beyond Accommodation (Schoenberg & Highby) –> 75% done

Misconceiving Merit (Blair-Loy & Cech) –> 20% done

The Promise of Access (Greene) –> barely started

What I’m thinking about

this thread —

and this one –

and this too –

Meetings of note:

(Beyond normal 1:1s with colleagues)

Elsevier negotiation prep. Oregon’s 3 major research universities (OSU, UO and PSU) negotiate with Elsevier as a group. The group is meeting Monday to finalize a proposal about one of our major sticking points – cost transparency. Then we are either meeting with Elsevier reps on Wednesday or a week from Wednesday, depending upon how much time they need with our proposal.

Meeting with the classified staff association. We have a long-standing endowed fund set up by a library donor to support professional development and research activities for library faculty. Several years ago Faye Chadwell, University Libarian, set up a similar fund for the Classified Staff Association to manage. We’re going to meet to discuss the logistics of the fund and some new ideas for managing it.

Library management team standing meeting. We meed biweekly for two hours. In the interim weeks we have a 1 hour meeting scheduled that we sometimes use for regular business, sometimes for professional development, and sometimes we cancel. This week is a two hour meeting. On the agenda: faculty performance reviews, a couple of policy reviews, a reorganization proposal from a library unit and I am giving a short update on some reorganization I’m doing with our library advisory council.

Meeting with faculty reps to discuss and document hiring with tenure processes. This one is pretty self-explanatory.

My first library session

“You don’t need to be nervous with us”

I don’t remember a lot about my first library session, but I have a really clear memory of that comment from a student feedback form. I have never figured out exactly what they meant — I didn’t need to be nervous with this class, this group of students, specifically?  The nerves were unnecessary, full stop?  But I do know what it meant to me at the time.  It meant that yes, they noticed I was nervous.  I didn’t like that.  But it made me feel like  they saw me as a person, hoped I saw them as people, and I did like that.

It would have been 2003. I was in a part-time wage appointment covering history for the OSU libraries. I was an intern working on a metadata project and the librarians found out that I also taught history (as an adjunct).  They were about to launch a triple search – hiring three new subject librarians – and maybe I could cover one of their subject gaps!  Within the week I had my first instruction request.

I visited the archives a few times as a history major and as a history graduate student, but I have no memory of going to the library for a traditional one-shot. So I didn’t really have a mental model I could use to prepare for this class.  I remember a colleague — a wonderful and supportive mentor — sharing activities I could do and concepts I should  demonstrate.

The class went fine. My colleague observed. I was more nervous than I expected to be because I didn’t know what to expect. None of the strategies and identities I had developed in my teaching career really helped me in this strange new context — learning names, building habits, building trust over time — so I felt very without a net. And I’m afraid of heights at the best of times. As we know, my nerves were visible, even though I didn’t name them. Now I always name them. The professor wasn’t thrilled, wasn’t disappointed. It was fine. The students, as you know, were kind. At least, I don’t remember those who weren’t.

I do remember this one feeling. Something had gone off script, something unexpected had come up in the example and I remember this intense feeling of wanting to scrap the plan and do something else but also feeling paralyzed about that — I can’t or shouldn’t —  because the person who helped me make the plan was sitting right there watching*.

This post was inspired by Veronica’s Blushing, Sweating, Stammering — the first in a new series — that sent me down a winding path of memories this morning. One thing I realized as I thought about those “firsts” was how often the help I got took the form of “here’s some things from my teaching and my practice that you can take and use.”  My first class, first conference presentation, even first reference interactions, I was encouraged to use other people’s materials, guides, activities, plans, outlines, etc.  I get it – I didn’t have much of my own yet, and there are a lot of safe feelings tied up in the tried and true.

Looking back, I’m okay with the way I floundered when I needed to adapt on the fly within the constraints of someone else’s teaching.  I’ve learned that the real thinking work for facilitating isn’t about how to fill the time, or how specific activities should go. It’s about  flow, connections and transitions, and what I want the experience to look and feel like.  But the second part – feeling stuck because of the colleague in the room — is different. That’s something I’m still working on. And really, the first and the second things are connected.  I like to get things started, hold space, and let things happen – those are important parts of my teaching and my facilitating identity.  But even though I co-teach and co-facilitate a lot I still have a lot to learn about doing those things in the moment and with other people. I still get caught, in the moment and in my head and get stuck on how to make choices together that I would have no trouble making on my own.

I’ve been thinking about this lately in present tense — past me is shaking up that thinking in some really good ways. Here’s to remembering firsts.

 

*To be clear, I am pretty sure she would have had no problem with my going off script, wouldn’t have felt her labor was disrespected, would have been super into talking through what I did and why I did it. This paralysis was created by the pretend standards I made up in my head and imposed on her.

Achievement unlocked – 52 movies

Well, after saying last year that we never accomplish this goal, this year we did.  It did take a last-minute decision to take New Years’ Eve off, but that was something that might have happened anyway.

(Why movies?  I wrote about it last year & the reasons haven’t changed)

We haven’t had our final best movies in the theater discussion yet, but the titles in bold are the ten that would be in the running for me.  As always, these are based on a personal and idiosyncratic set of criteria. Your mileage may vary.  Plus, I can’t promise that these would be the same ten I would pick tomorrow.

JANUARY
Vice
Reefer Madness
If Beale Street Could Talk
On the Basis of Sex
Stan & Ollie

FEBRUARY
Roma
Cold War
Isn’t it Romantic
Oscar Nominated Documentary Shorts*

MARCH
Captain Marvel
Apollo 11*
Ruben Brandt, Collector

APRIL
Woman at War
The Mustang
Avengers: Endgame

MAY
Satan & Adam*
Hail Satan?*
Amazing Grace*
Booksmart

JUNE
Rocketman
All is True
Echo in the Canyon*
The River and the Wall*

JULY
The Last Black Man in San Francisco
The Bikes of Wrath*
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

AUGUST
Wild Rose
Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am*
Maiden*
The Farewell
Sword of Trust
Blinded by the Light
Mike Wallace Is Here*
Find Me

SEPTEMBER
David Crosby: Remember My Name*
Ad Astra
Official Secrets
Linda Ronstadt: The Sound of My Voice*

OCTOBER
Judy
One Child Nation*

NOVEMBER
Where Is My Roy Cohn?*
Pain and Glory
Ford vs. Ferrari
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Knives Out
The Irishman

DECEMBER
Dark Waters
Honey Boy
The Two Popes
Little Women
Uncut Gems
Fantastic Fungi*

The asterisks denote documentaries.  The number of documentaries on this list shows that it was, overall, a weaker year for movies than last year was. At least, it was a a weaker year for movies-that-showed-in-Corvallis-theaters than last year was.  Even when things are limited, there is usually a documentary of some interest playing somewhere. And our bar for documentaries is lower, because even when the craft is low, there is still a chance we might learn something.

To be fair, there are some movies that are probably very extremely good that we have not seen, and will not see, because I do not do horror imagery.  For some reason, those images have an outsized effect on me and I can’t shake them. I don’t mean garden-variety violence;  some of the images I still see when I can’t sleep aren’t that violent. Anyway, The Lighthouse and Parasite did play here, but I kept us from seeing them.

on reading goals and codes of conduct

I started this post as a follow up on the reading goals I talked about here.  But then I ended up, as I often do, writing about something else. Which is not surprising — as I’ve been reading and thinking through these books, they’ve become an important part of how I have been thinking and experiencing lots of things around me.  And my normal process in this space is to invite all of you along on that journey, no matter how long it takes me to get to the actual point.

But I’ve been working this year on naming the things I want to talk about, instead of talking around them, particularly when my initial tendency is to very carefully lay all the mental groundwork I’ve done because I feel uncertain, which is likely to happen when I am speaking about issues of oppression or marginalization, and where my own experience and identity comes from a place of privilege and power.

Like many people, I felt a lot of emotions reading April Hathcock’s blog post describing her experience at ALA Council Forum, many people’s reports of the Council meeting that followed the next day, her immediate experience with ALA leadership in the aftermath, and her clear call to action. I was upset – these events are viscerally upsetting. I was also embarrassed, disheartened, and angry, wondering how many times she has to tell these things that we need to hear about the experiences people of color have in our profession. It’s not fair, and it’s not okay.  But here’s the thing, I can’t say I was shocked. I wasn’t even surprised. And to be really clear I am not saying that it was inevitable that these events would happen in this exact time and this exact space, but that the possibility — and the dynamics of oppression — are always there. And then there’s how we (a collective we, with a focus on those of us who are white, those who have some forms of power and privilege and safety in this profession) responded.  That wasn’t surprising either.

I have seen these dynamics play out too many times in the last several years, in too many situations and in too many (white and mostly-white) spaces. and the responses and reactions I heard and saw —

let’s wait and make sure we know what happened, let’s figure out the details, do we know the backstory? was there backstory? let’s talk about the personalities involved, do those personalities have a backstory? let’s focus all of our energy on the specifics of this one situation, I can’t talk about this situation until we all calm down, let’s talk about how unprofessional or uncivil these discussions are, let’s talk about how unprofessional or uncivil this person is, let’s wait and listen, it’s my job to listen and learn

— were so, so familiar. They keep happening.

On some level, I understand every one of these responses.  In some situations, I have felt the feelings that drive them. But now all I really hear when I hear them  is an effort, a multi-pronged effort, to talk about racism, white supremacy and injustice without ever talking about real change in the behaviors, expectations, hierarchies, ideologies, systems and structures that perpetuate those oppressions. And this effort doesn’t have to be intentional (sometimes it is); sometimes it is driven by feelings and emotions like fear and guilt and a need to feel safe.  

But this is why I have a lot of feelings when people bring up codes of conduct or agreements as solution to racialized aggressions or microaggressions in conference, meeting, workshop, classroom and other spaces. Those of us with some level of power or safety who truly want to dismantle oppressive structures need to be willing to work towards change, change that might threaten both of those things. That is work that will stir up negative, uncomfortable and even scary emotions, and protecting us from those emotions is not what codes of conduct are for. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t used that way; that dynamic is also familiar. Without having the hard conversations, and making a commitment to work through the feelings that come with that hard kind of change, then codes of conduct or dialogue agreements will inevitably be used by people with power to keep themselves centered and keep the status quo firmly in place.

So that’s the thing I want to say.  Here’s some more about how I got there.


So, let’s check in on those reading goals. It would probably come as a surprise to no one that my record was mixed.

I made no progress on Common Cause. I’m still committed to finishing that one, but it’s in some ways the most optional so I fall into the trap of prioritizing other things. I made an early push and got beyond the halfway point in Intersectionality, and (probably just as important for me to actually learn and learn to act and actually act from what I learned, got a first draft of some writing sparked by that book out and into the world).

But most of my progress came in the Art of Effective Facilitation, which is probably because 1) I actually had to co-facilitate a dialogue this month and 2) I was (and it’s over but still am) pretty nervous about it.  I’m am so grateful that this training — OSU’s Dialogue Facilitation Lab — exists for many reasons, but one of them is that it provides a space to practice things that are both inherently challenging and also pushing me to re-think things I have done before.  That opportunity to practice in a supportive and learning environment is incredibly meaningful, especially to someone like me.

But, still, that means if there is a book I can read to feel more prepared, I am most definitely going to read it.

The dialogue my co-facilitator and I decided to practice with dug into the tension between freedom of expression and inquiry — and safety and inclusivity.  This is a topic that a lot of people in libraries are struggling with, and that a lot of us in higher ed (where those narratives about free expression and free inquiry and debate and the marketplace of ideas have a really, really, entrenched hold) are struggling with as well.  We thought it would be a good topic for a dialogue with the group of colleagues we have been working with in this lab, and we were right.

But I don’t really want to talk about that dialogue in its specifics here. Doing that would cut against the purpose of the lab, a purpose that I am super grateful for myself, and it also isn’t what I really want to say right now.

“But to what extent can we promise the kind of safety our students might expect from us? (135)”

One of the things that I read and re-read preparing for this dialogue was chapter 8 in The Art of Effective Facilitation, “From Safe Spaces to Brave Spaces: A New Way to Frame Dialogue Around Diversity and Social Justice” by Brian Arao and Kristi Clemens.  The authors in this chapter argue that the common practice of establishing ground rules for social justice conversations frequently emphasizes the idea of “safe spaces” to reassure people who are uncertain or afraid to speak about sensitive topics.  They analyze a case study to show that this framing can get in the way of the kind of authentic dialogue they want to foster. Specifically, they point out that there are several ways that students who identify with the agent group in conversations about oppression — students who embody some kind of privilege and power — can use these ground rules to shut down conversations that are pushing them to hear things they don’t want to hear.  

This is important. We hear derisive take-downs of the idea of “safe spaces” all the time in higher ed (and in the world, but right now I am talking about higher ed).  These hot takes generally follow a similar formula, punching down by framing students from historically marginalized communities (and including those who care about those students and about oppression) as too fragile to deal with the rough-and-tumble world of difficult ideas or complicated situations. This essay challenges the frame of safety, but not in this way.  It focuses instead on the ways that they will twist structures like ground rules, put in place to protect those who have been marginalized, to protect the status quo instead.

“Further, it is our view that the agent group impulse to classify challenges to one’s power and privilege as actions that detract from a sense of safety is, in itself, a manifestation of dominance. (140)”

Because here’s the thing — this always happens.  We create structures, whether they are agreements or codes or rubrics (or standardized tests, or holistic admissions processes, or objective hiring workflows), to make sure that everyone is treated the same, and that everyone has the same access to opportunity, and that everyone is operating under the same set of rules. And if we rely on agreements, or rubrics, or codes, by themselves we will fail.  These things assume that the rules that we are all operating under are just fine, that the people working within those structures are acting with intent and awareness and a shared understanding of those rules and expectations, and that if we just hold everyone to the standards that our rules assume — everything will be fine.

But if those structures aren’t fine, if the standards themselves are racist, or sexist, or classist, or ableist — or if we don’t talk about and reveal how different interpretations of them are racist, or sexist, or ableist or classist … then it doesn’t matter that we have those agreements, rubrics and codes. They’ll be interpreted by those with power in ways that keep power in power.  Ground rules will be used by white students to keep from hearing things about whiteness that make them feel uncomfortable, because they will interpret “safe” as “free from discomfort.” Codes of conduct will be used to silence those naming racialized aggression because of their “tone”, lack of “civility” or “collegiality.”

It’s important to understand this — Arao and Clemens did not write a chapter arguing that discussion agreements or ground rules are a bad thing.  They wrote a chapter arguing that if we adopt those things uncritically — without unpacking their assumptions, without making sure that we share an understanding of what we are agreeing to and why it matters, and without accepting that if these agreements are going to do anything about inequality or oppression we will have to change our behavior, our expectations, our practice and our relationships  — then we will continue to reinforce frames that inhibit the real work we want and need to do.